So it appears someone tried to hijack Me and Joe Productions (the website anyway). It was redirected to some other site because we didn’t update wordpress or something. But now, just a bit under two years later, we are back. We had to move away from the infected theme so we have a somewhat temporary, different theme now. Sorry it took so long, but it looks like it worked out well. I think the long disappearance has thrown off the KGB from our trail.
Evil Johnny and the Crotch of All Flavors
By Schnoggleburger (name changed to protect identity of true author)
One day, while contemplating the Global Economy, Johnny realized that the income gap made it so that he could no buy test books for his Slovakian friend, Crotchy. This upset him greatly, and he consulted the Environmental Imperative to figure out what to do. The Imperative told him that his “view” of the form was incorrect and Crotchy’s happiness was greater than Johnny’s ever would be. As a Slovakian, Crotchy’s structural change of markets allowed him to purchase his own Crotch of All Flavors. Johnny could not afford one, as they were far more expensive in the U.S. The Imperative said this was due largely to Johnny’s homogeniality, and he should sue for Slovakian citizenship.
Now, a Crotch of All Flavors has two parts, its role, and its purpose. There is an exchange between these parts that can cause burning of the eye in some cases. But what really makes these Crotch’s unique is its patented “Flavor Dial”. This dial allows the user to dial in any flavor on the crochness plane. Possession of a Crotch of All Flavors with no dial is illegal by international law. Johnny asked Crotchy to support his application for citizenship. Crotchy gave him a form to fill out. Johnny filled the form out, sent it in, and was denied. The reason was because he had no skills or education valuable to the Slovakian people. Crotchy, who was not a native Slovakian, had managed to get in, so Johnny asked him how. It turns out, Crotchy was the original inventor of the “Flavor Dial”. If Johnny could come up with an innovation of that magnitude, he’d be in.
Having just found out that Crotchy was a scientist, Johnny broke into his lab. He stole plans for a digital “Flavor Dial” that had six presets. Johnny turned these plans in and became a Slovakian citizen. Crotchy became very upset and was heartbroken. He gave Johnny a nickname, “Evil Johnny”, and proceeded to write his own textbook so that Johnny did not have to buy him one. And then he put a contract out on Johnny.
The End.
(Transcribed from original writings by DirtyPjs, with the assistance of his pants)
This flowchart attempts to explain the intricate and often unsubstantiated relationships between Pants and Llamas, as overseen by the all powerful Jesus himself.
If Jesus and Pants
Were like llamas and france
AND
Poop in my pants
Would give monkey a chance
THEN
The dog shall be free for all!
Green llamas blue,
A rock in my shoe.
Tuesday will come, but not before noon,
The pants wait for it to come,
But they have to wait outside because there are too many.
If the llamas come soon,
And send the pants to the moon,
Then there will be no pants for Johnny,
He will have only the rock.
There you have it! He’s the king of tailgating! Randolph is officially a pimp! Way to go Randolph!
*NOTE: No use of photo manipulation was needed at all to make Randolph look like he was having sex fully clothed with a girl that seems totally disinterested. It really did happen. Honest.
Man, this was funny! No idea if it was staged or not, but it was one of the funniest things I have seen in a while! Had to do me a google to find out what this “Balls of Steel” show was. Found this Wikipedia entry on it. Seems like it would be a show I wouldn’t mind checking out if it were ever shown here in the good old USA. I may just add Urban Sprinting to my weight loss plan…
Neeble-Tirps, Neeble-Tirps, oh how they run and play,
But can they see me here, with no clothes on?
My pants are on fire,
It burns when I pee.
I’d fly to Mars now,
If not for the fee.
The Neeble-Tirps come to play at my feet,
But do they see me standing there, waiting for Johnny?
Tuesday will come,
Friday has past.
My llama has sex,
But just not with me.
Neeble-Tirps now go, as fast as can be,
They know not of Johnny, but do they know me?
Johnny is dead,
Buried under the tree,
No one will visit him,
But the Neeble-Tirps and me.
Check out this very well done video of classic album covers! Its enough to make my eye burn! I give it 2.3 llamas out of a possible 2.3 llamas.
