Me and Joe Productions

This is Little J. Dizzle with the first installment of “Christian Chat.” During an escapade on the web, I found myself on a Christian chat site, www.churchusatoday.com. I began a private chat with “Sweetness81,” who offered to help me with some of my impure thoughts. It turns out that I may not have been the only one with impure thoughts! By the end of the chat she sure didn’t seem very Jesus like! It didn’t take much prompting to get her to offer sex advice to “a 17 year old boy.” Here are the interesting parts of the conversation. Enjoy!

littlejdizzle Says : Hi. You seem like you are serous about your faith. can i ask you a question?

Sweetness81 Says : absolutely

littlejdizzle Says : i have some impure thoughts about some co-workers, and don’t know how to fix it

Sweetness81 Says : ok

littlejdizzle Says : i have been praying for help, but none has come yet

Sweetness81 Says : what is the problem

littlejdizzle Says : i just want to act in god’s image, and live the life of a good christian, but am so surrounded by bad things in my life

Sweetness81 Says : well that is gonna depend on what the bad things are.

littlejdizzle Says : well, some of my friends do drugs and have sex. they really are good people, and don’t pressure me. I don’t know how to help them and help me?

Sweetness81 Says : do you feel convicted about talking to them about it?

littlejdizzle Says : yes, i sure do. but what do i say?

Sweetness81 Says : Sometimes conviction can mean two things

littlejdizzle Says : like what?

Sweetness81 Says : either God wants you to wait for his timing on the whole talking to them

Sweetness81 Says : or sometimes God just wants you to leave them to Him

…

Sweetness81 Says : I am married . Let me share a little secret with u.

littlejdizzle Says : ok

Sweetness81 Says : the thoughts in which you have now are probably the same thoughts that you will have about your spouse

Sweetness81 Says : and those thoughts are biblical

littlejdizzle Says : really?

Sweetness81 Says : otherwise hard to explain?

Sweetness81 Says : it is biblical to think that way about your spouse

littlejdizzle Says : what about the thoughts about doing things to girls that I can’t talk about

Sweetness81 Says : just not someone else’s spouse

…

Sweetness81 Says : Some feelings are normal

Sweetness81 Says : just becareful how far you take it

littlejdizzle Says : i didn’t mean to do what i did, and i think jesus was watching

Sweetness81 Says : may I ask how old you are?

littlejdizzle Says : sure, i’m 17

Sweetness81 Says : you probably have alot of things racing through your mind

littlejdizzle Says : i sure do

Sweetness81 Says : whether its going ahead with something or witholding something.

Sweetness81 Says : pray and let God be your guide.

…

Sweetness81 Says : Never be ashamed to talk about this stuff

Sweetness81 Says : its vital that you do

littlejdizzle Says : can i ask you a question then?

Sweetness81 Says : sure why not?

Sweetness81 Says : go ahead

littlejdizzle Says : is it ok to have sex with a girl before you are married? i don’t mean the normal kind, but another kind

Sweetness81 Says : well not really, speaking from a christian point of view.

Sweetness81 Says : but God will forgive you. you have to open your heart though

littlejdizzle Says : will god forgive the girl for what she has done?

Sweetness81 Says : You are a guy, and a young adult

Sweetness81 Says : and she is young adult

Sweetness81 Says : you guys have plenty of time to learn from your mistakes

Sweetness81 Says : just as long as history doesn’t repeat itself

littlejdizzle Says : that’s why i didn’t want to do it the normal way, i was afraid of her getting pregnant

…

littlejdizzle Says : do you know what the prayer would be for anal sex?

Sweetness81 Says : I am sorry but I kinda laughed a little on that one

Sweetness81 Says : just pray .

littlejdizzle Says : that’s ok

Sweetness81 Says : Only God can really tell you what you should be convicted about

Sweetness81 Says : or not convicted about

Sweetness81 Says : I am a servant of the Lord. Not the Lord himself.

littlejdizzle Says : ok. i think she will pray too. I’m worried about her though, she is having problems with her down there area

Sweetness81 Says : With every mistake comes a lesson. and a test.

Sweetness81 Says : its a question of believing .if you feel you are going to pass or not.

littlejdizzle Says : can i ask another question?

Sweetness81 Says : it all about trust and faith.

Sweetness81 Says : yes

Sweetness81 Says : I seem to have answers for ya so ask away.

littlejdizzle Says : do you think jesus is ok with anal sex? if people are married?

Sweetness81 Says : yes

Sweetness81 Says : If you must now the marrital secret

Sweetness81 Says : yes he is even okay with marital aids

Sweetness81 Says : ”

Sweetness81 Says : just don’t go braging aboutit

Sweetness81 Says : I just learned that one myself about 5 yrs ago

littlejdizzle Says : what are marital aids?

Sweetness81 Says : if you don’t know now, you will soon find out.

…

littlejdizzle Says : do you have any tips for me and her about anal sex? it seems like it hurts her.

Sweetness81 Says : well does she tell you anything while its happening

littlejdizzle Says : she says she likes it, but that it burns

Sweetness81 Says : does she ask you to go slower be more gentle anythinglike that

Sweetness81 Says : that could determine how much she hates it or enjoys it

littlejdizzle Says : no, she tells me to do it harder

Sweetness81 Says : well then you seem to be doing okay.

littlejdizzle Says : she also say “give it to me” and “oh jesus”

Sweetness81 Says : if it hurts her to much

Sweetness81 Says : you can actually do it normally without getting her preg.

Sweetness81 Says : it will be up to you though to follow through

littlejdizzle Says : i think i understand

Sweetness81 Says : you do?

littlejdizzle Says : yes. i can do it in her private area, but then have to finish on her face or something.

Sweetness81 Says : is she on b-pills or anything

Sweetness81 Says : yeah that is pretty much that

littlejdizzle Says : are you married?

Sweetness81 Says : yes

littlejdizzle Says : does your husband ever finish in your face?

littlejdizzle Says : do you like it?

Sweetness81 Says : no

Sweetness81 Says : and no I don’t care

Sweetness81 Says : I can’t really talk about that part of mylife

littlejdizzle Says : that’s ok

Sweetness81 Says : because there really isn’t much there

littlejdizzle Says : do you wish there was more there?

Sweetness81 Says : has she ever admitted to you about having an orgasm?

Sweetness81 Says : that will determine if what you are doing is successful or not

littlejdizzle Says : she says she has had them, but i’m not sure if she is faking. sometimes some liquid comes out of her private are a when she screams

Sweetness81 Says : that could be lubricant or as men have it cum.

Sweetness81 Says : you will be fine.

Sweetness81 Says : that kinda stuff can only be learned in time

littlejdizzle Says : sometimes when i am trying to finish, i have to wait for her to get quiet because she takes the lord’s name in vain so much

Sweetness81 Says : well it will give you good control over yourself

littlejdizzle Says : you are right

Sweetness81 Says : being that your so young and all

Sweetness81 Says : exercise patience and the I promise the reward is greater than ever for her and you

littlejdizzle Says : sometimes i feel bad doing it on her face, because it gets in her eyes. but i guess that’s what she wants.

Sweetness81 Says : if it doesn’t bother her than don’t worry about it

Sweetness81 Says : during that moment she probably doesn’t care

littlejdizzle Says : you are right

Sweetness81 Says : are you both the same age?

Sweetness81 Says : just out of curiosity

littlejdizzle Says : yea, we are. how come?

Sweetness81 Says : development stages will be around the same time

Sweetness81 Says : you will be able to understand things together.

Sweetness81 Says : makes the relationship deeper

littlejdizzle Says : are you in the U.S.?

Sweetness81 Says : yes

littlejdizzle Says : cool, just wondering

Sweetness81 Says : u?

littlejdizzle Says : yea. My girl just got here, she is reading this now

Sweetness81 Says : nice

Sweetness81 Says : hope she is happy

littlejdizzle Says : she say she won’t be until i start touching her

Sweetness81 Says : okay have fun with that

Sweetness81 Says : nice to meet “the girl”

Sweetness81 Says : have a good night

littlejdizzle Says : I will. she even shaved her butthole.

littlejdizzle Says : This ridiculous conversation about Jesus and how butthole sex makes the baby form of him cry is brought to you by www.meandjoe.com.

Sweetness81 Says : go learn!

Sweetness81 Says : that

littlejdizzle Says : thanks for giving me something fun to post on the web!

Sweetness81 Says : is great have a good night

Sweetness81 Says : your welcome

littlejdizzle Says : also, you are pretty damn nasty talking to a 17 year old boy like you did

littlejdizzle Says : don’t think jesus would like that very much

Sweetness81 Says : that is great

Sweetness81 Says : well your pretty nasty with details

littlejdizzle Says : Jesus say “You so nasty”

Sweetness81 Says : well that is life

Sweetness81 Says : I don’t worry that puts god on the sidelines

littlejdizzle Says : what the hell does that crazy jesus talk mean? Everything you have said is all b.s. about jesus this and jesus that. How about “don’t talk to 17 y/o about anal sex and how to do it”

Sweetness81 Says : ur the one with insecurities

littlejdizzle Says : tell your husband to check out www.meandjoe.com to learn about your tips for anal sex

Sweetness81 Says : don’t let boys boss me around

littlejdizzle Says : what?

littlejdizzle Says : I just did

littlejdizzle Says : nice try,

littlejdizzle Says : This ridiculous conversation about Jesus and how butthole sex makes the baby form of him cry is brought to you by www.meandjoe.com. Please enjoy the transcript of this conversation as it shall be posted for the world to see at www.meandjoe.com.