Me and Joe Productions

Paco was cold, hungry, and missed Johnny terribly. He has spent the days immediately following the accident wandering, exploring the bounds of his new freedom. But now he was lost, and unsure of what to do next.

He could sell his body for cash, or maybe wash windshields at busy intersections. He would be set for life if only he chose to sell his genetic information to Overly Large Retail Corporation and Spa®. But while Johnny had loved Paco fiercely, he had neglected Paco’s education, and as such Paco could not read a word. Johnny had also told Paco there were health concerns that needed to be addressed, but had not yet told Paco what these were. In fact, Paco was not exactly sure what Overly Large Retail Corporation and Spa® wanted with him, just that it paid well.

“Damn that Johnny!” thought Paco. This was the first time Paco had ever thought ill of his deceased master, but it would not be the last.

Paco settled in for the night underneath a dumpster and vowed to improve his situation the next morning. By morning Paco had formulated a plan. Few people would pay to be serviced by a llama that was so poorly endowed, and he had always been frightened of being run over in the crosswalk, so he had resolved to Join the circus. He could be a freak in the side show until he learned balance and other skills necessary for a circus performer.

Luckily the circus would be in town the next week. He would have to find shelter until then. He panhandled for a couple of hours, but found that the businessmen passing on the street were so much bigger than him they did not even notice him. And even those that did notice him were not much moved by his plight. Paco did finally find a nice lady that gave him $5 because she felt bad that her poodle had chased Paco and tried to lick his testicles.

Armed with this, and a quarter he found a block later, he went to his local all-you can-eat-24-hour Asian buffet. He was able to convince the guy there he was a child, so his money was enough. He then spent the next week there, never leaving. He ate when he wanted, slept in his booth, and even bathed in the sink in the bathroom. He owners of the restaurant were upset at first, but then realized that at eight ounces Paco did not eat much, and they still made money after a full week. Plus their daughter liked Paco, and he was able to help her with her math homework (she had to read it out loud to him, as he could not read himself). In fact, at the end of the week, they even gave him a lift to the circus.

The circus was not what Paco had expected. It smelled like on open sewer, a sewer that was backed up, and heated to a nice 123 degree steaming goodness. It was horrible, but Paco could not even afford to buy a nose plug. (In fact he had not yet even paid his student loans. He had thrown away every letter that offered to consolidate student loans. He now regretted that. Also, before you ask, Paco had gone to school for a bit, but it was a bad school, and he soon dropped out.)

Unfortunately Paco was not qualified as a performer, which he expected. But they were not willing to take him on as an apprentice. In the end he had to agree to appear in the freak show to cover his room and board. But he was also promised to study how to run the business and get a bit of acrobatic practice with the Pantrific Quintuplits®. Things looked to be turning in Paco’s favor. But the boss was upset when he learned that Paco could not read, and almost kicked him out. He had expected Paco to make sure that the auto insurance was paid, set up conference calls, and things like that. Paco was not able to preform many of these duties. Only two things stopped the boss from throwing Paco out, Paco’s streaming tantrum, and the bearded lady promising to work with Paco on his reading. So now Paco seemed to be set up in the circus, which was great. He spent the first few weeks getting familiar with the place and the people. He really enjoyed traveling and seeing the country.

Paco was doing well with his studies as well. He was learning how to preform spectacular tricks, and while it was slow going, he was starting to learn to read a bit. Then it happened, Paco got a crush. Luckily not on the bearded lady, not only because she was not attractive at all, but he was unable to speak at all to this woman. She was an elephant trainer, and Paco generally stayed away from them. He was afraid of getting stepped on. She came up and started talking to Paco one day, and he realized he was unable to answer.

“Say, you’re Paco aren’t you? The new guy?”

“…”

“Hello? Are you Paco?”

“…”

“Ummm, hi. Why aren’t you answering me?”

“…” At this point Paco opened his mouth, but only a squeak came out.

“Look, I know you can talk, the bearded lady tells me you tell great stories. She tells me some of them sometimes, but says you tell them better. I wanted to ask you about the time that you pants went off to war.”

“…”

“Is this a bad time? Just let me know, and I’ll come back some other time.”

“…”

“You know, you’re kind of an ass.”

“…”

“…” (This was the elephant trainer, she just stared at Paco for a minute)

“…”

“What the hell is the matter with you, did you get hit by a two ton Mack truck?!?!”

Thoughts of Johnny flooded in and Paco let out an agonized wail. He broke down and started to cry. The elephant trainer looked at him, slowly backed away and left. Of course the did not understand that Paco was thinking of Johnny. Johnny, who for all his faults, had loved Paco and cared for him. Johnny, who had promised Paco that their troubles were over, only to be hit himself by a two ton Mack truck. At the same time, Paco thought he was in love. In love, and still not even sure of her name. Worse, she thought he was a freak. And not in a good circus, only weighing eight ounces way. He doubted she’d ever talk to him again, and he began to cry harder.

To Be Continued . . .

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