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Me and Joe is proud to bring you an introduction to an all new adventure series titled ” Paco the Pocket Llama®.” This series will follow a very small llama as he travels the world, searching for the meaning of life, discovering the secrets behind the death of Johnny, and trying to protect his genetic identity from The Overly Large Retail Corporation and Spa®. New installments will follow, but never on Tuesdays.

P.S. This is my story, don’t steal it.

Paco the Pocket Llama®

Prologue

There one was a man named Johnny, and he had an extraordinarily small llama. He had named it Paco, after his nephew Ralph. Paco weighed just under eight ounces, and fit comfortably in most pockets. This lead to Johnny referring to him as Paco the Pocket Llama®.

One day shortly after breakfast, there came a knock at the door. A man in a nice suit greeted Johnny, “Hello, I am a representative of The Overly Large Retail Corporation and Spa®. I would love to share with you our ideas about marketing Pocket Llamas® as this year’s hottest holiday gift.”

“But Paco is far too small to have intercourse with a normal sized llama,” Johnny replied.

“We have a plan to get around such technical concerns,” the man said. “We would be prepared to offer you the sum of $2.3 million as a stud fee if you allow us access to Paco.”

“As long as I have your guarantee that no harm will come to him.”

“Agreed, we will be by next Tuesday afternoon for the acquisition of the genetic material. We will have your check then. Make sure that Paco does not have sex at all between now and then,” and with that the man left.
That afternoon Johnny took Paco to the vet to make sure that Paco was in good health and able to reproduce. Unfortunately, this was the point where Johnny’s dream of owning his very own teashop began to crumble.

“Even if they plan to use artificial insemination, there is a huge danger to Paco. That’s probably why they have offered such a large amount of money,” the vet informed Johnny. “excessive sexual stimulation could prove far too much stress for Paco’s tiny, weak heart. If he reaches orgasm he is likely to pop an artery; that is if he heart manages to last long enough.”

“Oh my, that’s probably why you don’t see too many Pocket Llamas® around!” exclaimed Johnny.

“Correct. You must make sure they plan to extract his seed in a safe fashion, or perhaps clone him from his DNA.”

“There can only be one Paco! He will never be cloned!” Cried Johnny.

“Then they may need to extract his sperm with a needle. I suggest you have them use a local anesthetic. Also, make sure theysterilize all Pocket Llamas® before sale, we don’t want them all humping themselves to death.”

“I’m sure they would do that anyways. They wouldn’t want others trying to bred their own Pocket Llamas®.”

“Good point, Johnny. Just let me know if you need anything else.”

Johnny left the vet very concerned. He hoped that the Overly Large Retail Corporation and Spa® would agree to these new conditions without lowering hes fee. He had to contact them immediately.

However, on the way home a two ton Mack truck (© Peep c. 1995) ran a light, hitting Johny’s car and killing him instantly. Funeral services will be held Tuesday at 2:00. Paco was thrown clear of thewreckage, awoke several hours later, and struck out on his own. These are his adventures…

To be continued…


Related Posts -

Paco the Pocket Llama - Chapter Two
Paco the Pocket Llama - Chapter One
Paco the Pocket Llama - Chapter 2.3

One Response to “Paco the Pocket Llama - Prologue”

  1. on 04 Oct 2006 at 9:42 pm Rapey McCrotchstein

    Jesus! Paco is one determined llama. I wish him well, and F Johnny. I’ll be rubbing a microphone in my crotch until tuesday, or the next installment.

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